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by Abraham Simatupang, Indonesia. First published in Gender and Religious Education.
The more children you have the luckier you will be
My parents are from the Batak ethnic group, a sub-ethnic group in the north Sumatera province. My father is the fourth of thirteen children. My mother has eight siblings, though three of them died in infancy. To have a big family was not unusual in Sumatra at that time. Lots of children meant a great help for the family. According to the Batak’-tradition or “adat”, the more children you have the luckier you will be.
I am the eldest of four children, and was born in 1960. At that time, the political and economical situation was not stable in Indonesia. My mother told me that stable was curt and expensive. Most of the people could not afford it. However, since my mother worked as a pharmaceutical assistance in the Health Department of Indonesian Air Force, she got rations of baby formula from her office. My father was still a university student when they got married. In the beginning of their marriage my mother was the breadwinner. After he had finished his study, he started his career as a junior lecturer at the University of Indonesia. Hence, both worked to support the family. I learned that my mother took a significant role in nurturing the family and being a good host. We lived in a small house in the capital city of Jakarta. I remember those times when we hosted our extended families and relatives from the village who wished to move to the city. It was not unusual to have many guests and share our house with many people. They helped us with housework, while they were studying or looking for employment.
In my childhood gender role was not clearly differentiated. My brother and I were given the same tasks as the girls. Dish-washing and house cleaning were not unusual for me. Sometimes I helped pumping the water from our well. My parents often told me to look after my brother and sisters, especially on the way to school. Before I went home from school, I had to assure that my sisters and brother have already gone home. If not, we would go home together by foot or by becak, a tricycle with driver. At that time, as the big brother I learned to take responsibility for my siblings.
We went to Sunday school in a protestant church nearby our house. I was always fascinated of the characters of the Bible’s heroes, like Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, David, Deborah, Elijah, Ruth, Esther, Peter and Paul, told by our Sunday school teachers and the way they were called by God, men and women, to accomplish difficult tasks. In the majority of cases they had to make sacrifices. I learned that God calls anybody, regardless of which gender, to be God’s messenger and to be God’s partner for completing God’s plans.
Today women have more chances
Indonesia is an agricultural country. Like other agricultural countries, Indonesia has strong traditions where gender-related role allocation is very strongly differentiated. For example women were responsible for children while men took care of provision of food and shelter.
But, nowadays, since people are more open to influences from the outside, values change and gender-related issues or gender-role in society are no longer easy to define. To some extent, this gives benefits to female members, because they have more opportunities to fulfill their dreams as individuals. They can pursue higher education or career if they want. Many women work to earn money, not only for themselves but also for their families.
We even had a woman as president and a number of women are leaders in provincial or regional government. A higher quota of women, up to 30% of the members of totally 550 of the national parliament, has recently been discussed extensively.
The fight for gender justice, however, is not fully realized. Certain groups, who have their own principles, try to slow down this process. They still require traditional custom like arranged marriages and imposing curfew for women in certain areas.
A personal reflection by Jonah Gokova, Zimbabwe, first published in Gender and religious education
I wanted to be different
I was born in 1956 in a family of very devout Christian parents who both were active leaders in the Methodist Church. I was number two in the family but first born son. I have a young brother who comes after me and four sisters.
Traditionally my status in the family was higher than the one of my sister who came before me. In my case, my sister is seven years older than me! It is not about, who is older; but who is the son. This emphasis was repeated throughout my formative years and even up to now.
The Zimbabwean society, in which I was born, is not different from any other society in the world in terms of social expectations relating to gender roles between boys and girls who grow up to be men and women. There was an unwritten law, which regulated behavior and was read as the following: boys must be tough, boys do not cry, boys do ‘men’s work’ outside the home. At every step the requirement on maleness had to be confirmed. Physical ability, toughness were objectified as necessary ideal, that had to be achieved by every boy in our society.
I had four sisters who had an enforced ‘cultural and religious obligation’ to cook, wash dishes and clothes for me. In my younger days I was not satisfied with this arrangement and wanted to be different from other boys in my community. I was interested in assisting my sisters in doing household chore and I gained a lot of satisfaction from it. I learnt to cook, to iron and to perform household tasks, normally done by girls and women. My mother encouraged me to work together with my sisters and I enjoyed sharing the tasks with my sisters. My brother was rather different. He enjoyed playing with other boys away from home and his level of gender sensitivity is not notably high today.
Well my involvement in all this is definitely not the result of some fantastic gender theories I had read before. At that stage of my development I was not even aware of the work of feminists, who later assisted me with tools of analysis of social organization and unequal power relations that seem to be consistent in our societies today. I was simply doing what I felt as the right thing to do at that moment. It is important to note that my mother played a crucial role in encouraging and supporting me. She did not read any of the feminist theories and up to now, at the age of over 80 years, she is not familiar with the gender theories that are beginning to inform our critic of social and power relations between men and women in society.
It is very possible that as a leader in Church she must have been influenced by her belief in God to develop a sense of justice, that is reflected in the way she worked hard to create opportunities for her daughters, and the encouragement she gave me to develop a sense of equality between me and my sisters. I listened to her and I have never regretted.
My concept of salvation
As I look back I always ask myself, what specific contribution has the church made to my gender consciousness? What I remember from Sunday school theology and youth leadership lessons in the church is that God has always been neutral to these issues. Gender stereotypes have always been glorified as God-ordained. Boys should strive to positions of leadership while girls should be submissive and learn to obey.
By Paola Salwan, Programme Assistant for Africa, Middle East and Europe at the World YWCA and Co-Founder of the Blog Café Thawra
Karl Lagerfeld doesn’t like seeing curvy women on catwalks. Yes ladies, the over-bronzed, starved designer whose eyes have never been seen in living memory gives dieting advice to women. And apparently, we’re supposed to listen.
Soon after the English designer Mark Fast’s show during London Fashion Week featuring size 12+ women, the self proclaimed king of fashion declared that “fashion was a fantasy, a dream” and that “these fat women eating crisps in front of their TV, thinking slender models are ugly” were basically jealous.
Without even brooding on the impossibly condescending tone and cringing misogyny of this statement, I’d like to put a harsh stop on the whole “fashion is a dream, let it be, people do want to see under nourished 15 year old girls dressed as 35 year old women” rhetoric. Yes, fashion should be a dream, celebrating crazy colours and shapes, shaking society like the Dior-length skirt or the mini skirt did, but it becomes a nightmare the moment it is established as the norm, the moment snooty salespeople look at you with contempt for sporting healthy full bodies. Karl’s supporters would have us think that designers are not saying we should look like the models, but merely that we should only wear the clothes on the models.
How helpful, we hadn’t figured this one out for ourselves.
But when brands stops their collection at size 4, then we have the right to ask ourselves what’s the secret message behind it.
Even though this question has been abundantly treated, it seems to me that we are not witnessing any significant changes when it comes to the public representation of the female body. Pictures in magazines are more photoshoped than ever, models are still alarmingly thin, and God helps the woman who tries to point to these issues, for she’d be instantly catalogued as jealous or frustrated by a small group of the Fashion Crew.
First of all, I think it is important to set some facts straight. Women perfectly know that models in magazines are not like that in reality.
Thank you, we are not stupid, we do use our brains from times to times.
This being said, I still think it is important to analyse the impact of these images on the body image of women and girls.
As members of the “Western” society, we are constantly surrounded by ads and images of unattainable standards of beauty, standards that, as research has shown, are only achievable by less than 5% of the female population (Remember the Body Shop campaign, “”There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8 who do” ? Well, for once, a slogan can be true). This constant exposure to a stereotyped type of beauty makes it look attainable, normal, in the sociological sense of the word.
Even if women perfectly know that the images have been modified, our brains simply pick up what they see all day every day, following the very often-unconscious logic of “if I see it everyday, everywhere, then it’s probably the norm” and right there and then comes the question of “Am I in the norm”? And, ladies, this is how we start questioning our body, and with the questions, come the doubts, and eventually, the negative body image. The overwhelming number of articles in women’s magazines about how-to-become-thin-in-2-seconds-while-eating-nothing-for-2-decades, or about plastic surgery have women believe that they could be like the girl in the magazines, if only they had more will/money/courage and that their key to blissful happiness is to lose the weight they grew to resent. So basically, guilt makes its appearance on top of the questions and doubts about one’s body, which of course works wonders for the overall self esteem.
So what do we have? A global trend of a weight gaining population in the Western hemisphere and global media featuring almost only extra thin models. Dichotomy, anyone?
Governments should incorporate in school curricula serious programmes on what to eat to have a complete, healthy diet, but also to educate teenagers on the various diseases related to body images, while bearing in mind that processed, canned or ready-made food, that contain more sugar than fresh products, are also much more cheaper than said fresh products. Hence the need to offer affordable healthy food to the population, but let us not digress.
Truth is, beloved ladies, your body knows the weight it is comfortable at. Short of any health problems, your body WILL go back to this weight, no matter what you do, no matter how many diets. So stay healthy, and just embrace your body the way it is, for there is no point in torturing yourself. Life’s too short.
As for Mr Karl and his whole “Fashion is a dream, an illusion” thing, let me tell you something. Give me a Marylin Monroe, in a curvy figure, laughing and running on a beach in her Pucci blouse, and I’ll dream. Give me a Jackie O. in a Givenchy coat, and I’ll dream. Give me any in love, passionate about what she believes in, woman, and I’ll dream, for this is beauty.
Show me one of your models, and I’ll make her lunch.
Also read the article “Body as Battleground” by theologian Tommy Ross.
For many women who weren’t able to attend (or who weren’t old enough to know what was going on oat the time) the Fourth World Conference on Women in Beijing, China in 1995 exists only in the realm of the imagination. For me (age 12 at the time) the words “Beijing conference” conjure up the list of areas of the Beijing platform and visions of huge crowds of global women. That was until I saw “The World Through Women’s Eyes.”
In the time leading up to the Beijing conference, a group called The U.S. Ecumenical Women’s Network: Beijing and Beyond, was focusing on the importance of calling media attention to Beijing and spreading the stories that would be shared there. This group of women decided that one of the most effective things they could do was create a video (yes, it was VHS then) documenting the conference. Through the magic of modern technology, we were able to transfer this VHS tape to DVD, and then upload it to YouTube.
It is with great thanks to the women who had the foresight to make this video possible that we encourage you to watch, send it to your friends and networks, and inspire a new generation with the stories of your own involvement in the global women’s movement.
I am a third-wave feminist. And sometimes, I have no idea what that means.
At the Ecumenical Women Orientation two weeks ago, we worked with feminist theologian Caryn Riswold to elaborate on what it is to be a third-wave feminist in today’s world. Three generations reflected on whether the distinction of “third-wave” is even helpful. They worried about where the next generation will take us. And, they expressed concern over whether feminism itself is dead.
- Caryn Riswold speaks at the EW Orientation
Women spanning six continents reminded each other of the various perspectives that a global movement brings to feminism. We noted with joy young women like Facia Boyenoh Harris of Liberia, who hosts a radio show for young girls, embodying a bridge between the second and third waves. Privileged feminists of Ecumenical Women were reminded of the needs of a far greater population of women—those for whom reproductive justice is not an option; whose decisions are often made for them; whose bodies are made vulnerable to domestic violence, human trafficking, and crimes of war and terror.
Suddenly, we weren’t facing the nuanced standards of a privileged third wave anymore, riding on the shoulders of our mothers who fought before us.
2 Samuel 13 tells the story of Tamar, a young woman who is raped by her brother Amnon with the permission of her father—none other than King David, who the Bible so faithfully upholds as the greatest leader in Jewish history. Because she is physically weaker than her brother, the passage tells us, Amnon is able to force her into having sex with him against her will. After this, we are told that because of the actions that he himself chose to perpetrate against her, he comes to hate her “with a hatred greater than the love with which he had loved her.” So Tamar puts ashes on her head and she tears her robe in grief. Her father David is angry but does nothing, and her brother Absalom encourages her “hold her peace.”
We never hear what happens to Tamar after this story. The horror of discovering this rape in the Bible is eclipsed only by the realization that even the author cares not what happened to Tamar after all was said and done. Her life, her name, the “rape of Tamar” – these all serve in the text only as a function to explain why later her brother Absalom, who told her to stay silent, kills her brother Amnon, who raped her. In the story, Tamar is property to be protected or violated. She is a figure whose violation represents not her own personal grief but her family’s public shame; a woman whose grief is but a footnote in the long opus to political power that we find recorded in the Bible. Read the rest of this entry »
Today I’m blogging live from the Transformative Lutheran Theologies conference in Chicago. We’ve got 156 women and men thinking deep thoughts and asking tough questions, both about church structure and society, as well as identity, love and suffering.
This morning Caryn Riswold, a professor from Illinois College and future Ecumenical Women delegate (we’re excited!) talked about her life as a religious academic who is trying to bridge the gap with feminists. Third wave feminism recognizes that women have an intersection of identities simultaneously at work: race, class, gender and nationality. She has found that for the most part, third wave feminists have glossed over religion, finding it irrelevant or just another impediment. So Riswold is carving out a space where they connect, and asking: what do Christians want to do with feminists? And– what do feminists want to do with Christians?
Quoting sociologists, Riswold argues that as society we create products and ideas, which then take on a life of their own. This means that we are producers of our reality, and that God too is a cultural product. Therefore to assume the image of god is fixed is to miss an opportunity– because really, our image of a patriarchal God has not kept pace with the times. From Luther she takes the understanding of a God that humbles, and the belief that human enterprise must be humbled. After all we humans are failures, we can’t even create a peaceful world. She argues that we must reset the balance: where there is privilege, sew humility and where there is poverty, sew empowerment. After all, she says, the God of creation is a redeeming God, and he trusts our power as creators.
This post is by Christian Albers, a vicar from Germany who is interning at the Lutheran Office for World Community at the United Nations in New York.
When Daisy Khan was introduced today at the Faith and Feminism Brown Bag Lunch sponsored by the Sister Fund in New York City, the Muslim woman was compared to no one lesser than Jesus himself. While one might question whether this comparison was appropriate, Kanyere Eaton from the Sister Fund made it clear what she meant: “She is the one we were waiting for.”And indeed, although Ms Khan is neither male nor a Jew nor the Messiah, she is an extremely remarkable person, who is reconciling something urgently in need of reconciliation: Muslim faith and feminism.
Daisy Khan’s interest in religion and interfaith dialogue are rooted in her childhood. Born to a Muslim family in Kashmir, Ms Khan attended a Christian school with predominantly Hindu teachers, played in her childhood with Sikh friends and bought food from Buddhists. Finally, Kashmir is regarded as the lost tribe of the people of Israel.
But it took Daisy Khan some time, including times of doubt, until she found to her own Muslim faith through Persian poet Rumi, who said “I looked for God. I went to a temple, and I didn’t find him there. Then I went to a church, and I didn’t find him there. And then I went to a mosque, and I didn’t find him there. And then finally I looked in my heart, and there he was.”
Ms. Khan came to the United States as a teenager, and went on to study architecture, and work in interior design. But after Sept. 11, that she felt the urgent need to put together her Muslim faith and her commitment for the advancement of women. She realized that these two things ultimately belong together especially because many people, religious and feminist, still think that these two sides are mutually excluding.Her ultimate goal is to show that Islam has the power to positively inspire women and transform society.
As executive director for American Society for Muslim Advancement, she has convened several conferences to raise the often marginalized voices of Muslim women in matters of politics and religion. Her goal is to create a think tank of Muslim women scholars that can engage in debate with the Islamic judicial and theological systems. She explained that there is indeed quite a number of highly qualified female Islam lawyers (Mufti) but only a few of them actually can serve in an official position – mostly as vice muftis and only in Turkey. The think tank attempts to use the expertise of women Islam scholars in order to be heard by religious and political leaders.It was very inspiring for me to meet Daisy Khan and I’m looking forward to hearing her and other Muslim women’s voices making a difference in the future religious dialogue.
